


Distant sky (FFXIVWrite2020 Day 19 - Where the heart is)

by Ivelia



Series: FFXIV Write 2020 [19]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Patch 5.3: Reflections in Crystal Spoilers, Tumblr: FFXIVwrite2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26564512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivelia/pseuds/Ivelia
Summary: Part of my attempt for #FFXIVWrite2020 - September 19 (Day 19 - Where the heart is)Home is where the heart is, but most of the time, the answer is not that simpleSpoilers for the 5.3 MSQ
Relationships: Y'shtola Rhul/Runar
Series: FFXIV Write 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906951
Kudos: 5





	Distant sky (FFXIVWrite2020 Day 19 - Where the heart is)

Like always, the stew should have tasted good: it had been made with their own produce, seasoned with various spices in a sacred blend only he had mastered, and even some pieces of local game, whose ferociousness had been tamed with a very lengthy and careful time spent simmering in the pot. But given his lack of enthusiasm, Runar might as well have been drinking mud from the nearby lake Tusi Mek’ta’s shores, his spoon lifelessly stirring in his bowl as he thought, staring at the star from the holes in the canopy of the Rak’tika Greatwoods:

\- (Are we even looking at the same sky right now?) The Sunless Sea high above stayed silent, but he already had an inkling of an answer: probably, not really? He didn’t really understand their explanation, but in the end, it all boiled down to the fact that that person was really far, and could probably not come back in this lifetime.

He didn’t dare to ask, but the usually aloof and taciturn Warrior of Darkness -or rather, the errand girl of Darkness, as she was currently ferrying some books from Matoya’s abode to the distant shores where their owner was now inhabiting- always managed to give news when he was within earshot, telling them of how they were successfully able to return to their home world, how everyone was doing fine and dandy, slowly acclimating back to their own flesh, how they would soon be able to return to their usual activities, while slipping him a knowing look. While he appreciated these titbits of information, his tongue was burning with a million other questions: was she eating well? Did she forego sleep in favour of studying some ancient parchment, again? Did she tidy her books properly? These stacks might be dangerous, if they were to fall! Did she try to plunge in the life stream again, using her research on travelling through the rift as an excuse?

But he was also somewhat scared of the answers: did she think about them from time to time? Had she forgotten about them, returning to her own life on her own star, like one returns to reality after reading a good book, slowly forgetting its contents?… Soon enough, the messenger of Darkness would come to tell them of how she had found a life companion, maybe even of how extra cute her daughters were looking, or maybe, instead of a relaxing, laid back family life, she would tell them of the crazy, dangerous adventures they had, and how wonderful her life was in her homeland was… But in the end, whatever her choices were, he would give his blessings, and wish her happiness.

He had resolved to do this since that moment when he had overheard her talking about her departure. He didn’t want to burden her with the responsibility of staying with the Night’s Blessed, or with him. Even when he suddenly asked her to stay, it was more of a last ditch, selfish impulse of not wanting to live forever with the regrets of not even having even _tried_ to ask; though the regrets of having bothered her with that question did leave him with some sleepless nights for a while. Even though the frail hope of a positive answer had been swelling in his mind, he had known that it would be short-lived; and although it was not been completely quashed when she offered that she would try to come back, he’d rather she stayed safe, than risking even more than she already had for them.

So when the Warrior of Darkness offhandedly asked, seemingly in passing, if he had any message he wanted her to relay to Matoya, he would only smile and tell her that everything was well, burying his longing deep inside, in spite of the piercing, inquisitive, a bit disappointed look he received from the messenger. He wanted Matoya-no, Y’shtola- to be free and happy, wherever she was.

Still... They said that home was where the heart was… Was it possible for one’s heart to be in a place where one had never been?

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Today's word is "Where the heart is"... Popular solutions to the riddle are "home" or ... "thorax" (I briefly entertained trolling on this xD)  
> I tried to write something else that the usual suspects (my WoL/D, Crystal Exarch and/or Zenos) because at that point it feels like a cheat code (that always comes to bite my ass because the day after we get a prompt that would have fit perfectly with what I had written previously)  
> I ended up writing about bestest boi Runar. It's not shorter because I don't like it, but because someone started cutting onions halfway through, and also because I can't convey 1/100000 of the bittersweetness this pairing makes me feel ;__; ~~and also, I need sleep~~


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